I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
