I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
