She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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