i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
