last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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