my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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