Your tits are I can't wait for
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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