Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize