sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
