STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize