i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
