yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
