i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
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