what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
