i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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