Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
