i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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