You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
