i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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