from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
