you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
