We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
