Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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