The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
