dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
