I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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