A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
