i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize