this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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