Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
