My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize