My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
