Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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