don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
