we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
