Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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