yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
