I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
