why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize
