is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
