soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
