Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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