He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
