So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
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