this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
