I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
