we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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