people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
