i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
