i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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