Ketchup is God's man juice
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
