I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Randomize
