You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize