put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
