he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
