Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
