i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
