Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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