i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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