I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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