my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize