so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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