you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
