He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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