I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
