Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
