Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
