its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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